Time, Change, Acceptance

Good Morning!! "This is awkard but do you know the name _____ _____,"a womens name. This is a FB message that Shelby received 4 years ago, this simple message would put my precious little family in a tail spin.Shelby and I met over 20 years ago, of course like any couple, we dated, talked and got to know each other. Shelby and his mom sat me down one night and told me a story.....A one night stand, a pregnancy, lawyers and an adoption of a little girl. "Just wanted you to know in case the future has that little girl come into your life."After the conversation, Shelby and I talked a little more......he truly believed he was a scapgoat, that he was not the father... I believed him, heck I was 22, and he was 21. We married and started a family....a mom of two precious boys. Its funny how two people can live the exact same life and have a completely different reality. I do not remember over the years of our marriage us really discussing this little girl,I do remember him telling very close friends as we would sit and talk but Shelby says it happened and he thought of her often. 4 Years ago, life was pretty dern smooth...the CIG was growing, Shelby still had his car lots, Taylor was just a few months from turning 16....life was good. Shelby walks into the grill one afternoon and drags me to the computer..."Look at this?" and I read the message, I am not sure of what I am reading... I do not know this name do you?" he tells me its the name of the girl from many years ago, the biological mom. My mouth drops open and I ask "who is asking?"....its the little girl(now a college student) that his mom said may come asking questions. That day would change our family forever.... I had so many emotions... I looked at her pictures and it was like looking at a girl version of Shelby and Taylor,identical, my first reaction was anger and disbelief...." I am the only one to have someone look just like Shelby!!" (ok not one of my finer moments but I have had many moments through out this) Shelby and her connect immediatly...spending hours on the phone, getting to know each other, he was giddy and the more he was giddy over another female the more ticked off I became. When we had to share the news with our boys....oh yall can only imagine. Taylor was angry, his reality of not being his dad's oldest really threw him, he had 1 brother and never asked for a sister. We taught him abstinance before marriage and boy was he angry his dad had not followed that rule. My B really had no imput except he loves peace, he wants his family happy and since total chaos was irrupting he was angry. Through this process I felt Shelby was ignoring our feelings and building a bond and I was busy picking up the pieces of my precious boys. Yall, it was some of the darkest days I have been through, my heart was wrong and this child that had contacted us "Really what was the purpose....she had a great family...leave mine alone!!" Shelby and I went to counseling, because honestly I could not stand him....he was ripping apart everything I loved and he was angry, because geez he told me this could happen, its not a surpise Teresa!!! he basically would say get over it, you are hurting this childs feeling by your actions, really and why would I care what about our boys hurting!! Happy Beautiful Friday.... not some of my finer moments....life is messy. The counselor's best advice "Time". 4 years later that is where we are at....I still in someways do not understand a bond that can just happen, I understand history. For a few years now there has been no contact with this child and there has been peace in the family but great sorrow and sadness to Shelby.... but it is time....our boys are older and they get it and as a mom I do not want them to miss out on this amazing journey.... I share this story straight from my heart....there is no "happy ending yet" ..... but our heavenly father has a great plan for my family and I want with all my heart for Shelby to have peace. As yall now I can not stand change...and this is change at its biggest...but my prayer is that with this great change great blessing come... and I have an amazing opportunity to show my boys peace and love not only to Shelby but to this precious girl that has come into our life. Prayers for this journey yall!!